i found the following poem or passage somewhere :
It suddenly struck me as fast as sudden as the lightning,
however it lingered in me for a long time,
i avoid it as much as i can,
but i have to face it someday,
to be responsible to myself and people around me,
answers are seeked at this point,
to whom may i pour to,
whose to pity me,
whose to understand me without disgust and sacarcism,
who is to console me
what is needed is decision,
the decided will be firmly followed,
man needs to follow this principle,
ages is needed along with deep thought,
it feels heavy with burden and worries,
confusion beyond mere words to discribe,
mistake will not be tolerated,
for it will only bring sadness and regret,
for at this state i feel like a lost soul,
feeling unknown about what is ahead,
uncertain what the future lies
my heart 4 parts my brain 5,
bad always more then good,
5 different sets of justifications in place,
so confused over which to follow,
temptation is so strong i cant avoid,
the seed planted like in ancient times,
only starting to grow rapidly,
willpower is running low,
whatever refuel is of the opposite side,
i am running a losing race,
how my brain thinks reflects like catacombs,
so many possibilities to ponder,
so many combinations to happen,
treasures lies in some places,
chances to find something good infinite,
that something good appears at the end,
that rewards are waiting in plain sight,
that time is at your mercy,
that you are not ready to be in something now,
no IQ is needed to resist this,
to fall into wonderland,
till the end of your days
what my heart speaks of is in the following,
that truely happiness lies in the simple,
greediness gains nothing,
but loses everything,
that what i have is everything i need,
that i should be contented,
and be grateful to whom who is there for you,
to whom who stand with you,
to whom who don despise you,
that shear effort is put in,
to build a dedication that mortals cant comprehend,
that there is always shelter when needed
the fear of unfruitfulness is great though,
what plays a greater part is inferiority,
the reluctant to express as you want,
for fear of comments and despise,
or hatred and rejection,
for if happened what i see is only my own shell,
even more hardened then before,
even more unwilling to come out
selfishness is involved once its final,
to gain what you want before the end,
because you cant do without it,
such thought is heartless in my own eyes,
if leaked what will become of my reputation,
though its not even pleasent now,
what you are is not people's taste
so great the want,
so is the unwant,
because my words are serious,
but camofloughed in the spirit of joking,
it intensifies even at this moment,
but the percentage of success is unknown,
this is the starting point if its final,
which makes me shrink to more thinking
it just attracts me the so many versions of thinking can be done in this poem..i have bold the words of the beginning of each paragraph because i donno what wrong with the spacing i wanted..there is no title to this poem too..enjoy and and think deep..haha
